The Taxation of Beer in Ontario

Being a 19 year old non straight edge male I have a certain degree of knowledge in the damage that a “good weekend” can have on a bank account. And quite frankly I’m pissed at how the Ontario government’s monopoly (hereafter referred to as the LCBO) on the price of alcohol has the potential to bankrupt poor college students.

For those of you who have a terribly short attention span, I took the time to create a “tl;dr” for you assholes to get the gist of what I’m saying without investing precious time to read the rest of what I have to say.



For the rest of you who did not stop reading:

Holy fucking shit a solid drinker invests a lot of money into the chilled alcoholic industry every year. The following is an examination of the crap that the average Ontario drinker has to put up with just to enjoy some suds. I’m sure the following statements will do nothing but fuel more alcoholic rage, but it must be known.

Beer in Ontario is taxed at one of the highest rates in the world. When you shell out say $40 for a 24 or 28 of beer almost $20 of that is tax! Guess what else it taxed in that category? Cigarettes, gas, and air conditioners. For those who enjoy driving to the bar while enjoying a cigarette and A/C are being taxed to such an extreme its no wonder that those taxes have been coined as “Sin Taxes”.

Further breakdown of the shit that Ontario drinkers have to deal with;

- $5.62 per case in provincial commodity taxes.
- $2.29 per case in federal excise tax.
- 7% GST on the federal excise tax.
- 12% provincial sales tax -- 50% higher than the 8% PST charged on other goods.
- Plus, a provincial volume tax, environment tax and a gallonage tax.

Ri-fucking-diculous.

It’s evident that if you want to be a hardcore alcoholic you probably have to be making six figures a year just to enjoy the natural goodness of ethanol. So next time you sit down and enjoy your piss poor buck-a-beer just remember half of that dollar is tax. You are drinking a $0.50 bottle of beer. And yes, it does taste like urine.

Even the breweries have offered some incite. "With seven separate federal and provincial taxes levied on beer, with a provincial sales tax of 12% -- the highest in North America -- with a provincial tax rate that is 70% higher than in Quebec, and with a provincial rate that is 700% higher than in New York and Michigan, one begins to understand why nearly half of the beer-drinking dollar is tax” - Jeff Newton, president and CEO of Brewers of Canada.

Buying from the Beer Store is supposed to be the cheaper way of obtaining the famed hops/barley concoction. There is no way around the inevitability that you will get taxed to fucking hell. If it weren’t for long weekends there would be no hope for drinkers to hammer down.

Bars are no better. Everyone who has been to a bar and doesn’t have nice tits knows that buying drinks is an expensive prospect. Because those aforementioned taxes are applied to alcohol that the bars buy, then the bar also has to pay x amount of taxation just for being LLBO approved, plus other various taxes, plus operating costs and wages.

What has Ontario done wrong to deserve this? A breakdown of those infamous “Sin taxes”from a 2000 study claims that we pay “$470 million in tobacco taxes, contribute to the LLBO and LCBO’s revenues of $1.345 billion and our gambling foibles account for $1.93 billion in revenues.” That’s almost $4,000,000,000 dollars that Ontario profits off of people just having a good time. The government has done a nice job at turning a profit from fun.

Bottom line: praise the long weekend sales, embrace the new found 18 pack which is better cost per bottle then the average on-sale 28. But overall, fuck the government for taking advantage of Ontarians who just want to enjoy a beer. As if taxation wasn’t high enough you greedy bastards.

Requiem for Jason Lee

Jason Lee. Good God, what happened to Jason Lee? There was a time in my life when just uttering the name "Jason Lee" damn near gave me tingles up my spine. I mean, was there anyone out there cooler than that motherfucker? No, there was not.

But not all stories have happy endings. Somewhere along the line - for whatever reason - he became a member of the Church of Scientology (I use the term "Church" loosely) and began starring in fuck shit ass movies like Underdog and Alvin and the Chipmunks. Up until this point I never knew why people went on killing sprees. Well you know what? Now I fucking get it.

This man absolutely rocked the shit in movies like Mallrats and Almost Famous and so many more, making me laugh time and again with his priceless sardonic wit. Seriously, you could tell me that my mother was killed in a grisly car accident, and then right after that show me the part from Mallrats where he's screaming at the kid on the escalator, and I would still laugh my fucking balls off.

To be honest with you, I am almost at a loss for words. The thought of his fall from grace has left me feeling dirty and used, and I've tried to scrub away this feeling, but they just don't make water hot enough. This man is hilarious, and you'd be hard pressed to find anyone in the entire world who could deliver a one-liner better than Jason Lee can. Not only that, but he seems like a genuinely intelligent person. That's why I can't wrap my mind around the fact that he became a Scientologist. It's obviously done wonders for him financially, but at the cost of his very soul. A high price if you ask me.

Let's face it, there is a plethora of obviously unstable, closeted, or just plain untalented actors and actresses who blather on about Xenu and cleansing their Engrams. Take Jenna Elfman for example, did you know that she's a Scientologist? I did, but I don't care because she's a talentless waste of life, and she was dead to me long before I even acknowledged that she was alive. But knowing that someone as inherently cool as Jason Lee thinks that alien ghosts infected the planet with negative energy just makes me sick to my stomach.

Oh, just throwing this out there, he named his kid Pilot Inspektor Riesgraf Lee. I don't know if he was high or just lazy when he named that kid, but he deserves to be punched in the fucking sternum.

I could almost put up with this shit if he still took on good roles as an actor, but that's not the case. Jason, what the fuck have you done? I want to believe there is still good in you, but I fear you are more machine now than man; twisted and evil. I expected better from you. What a fool I was...

I don't care how much you love My Name Is Earl, Jason Lee is fucking dead to me.

Water

Water. Motherfucking water. You should think that there is no real reason to be so goddamn pissed about something so simple and pure and beautiful as water. After all, it's the essence of life, but somehow in the past few years or so we have managed to fuck it up in so many fucking ways.

What pisses me off so much about water? Well I'll fucking tell you what pisses me off. First, so-called "flavoured water". The idea is this; water, nature's original refreshment, accented with a hint of flavour. Well newsflash you cocksucker: there's no such thing as flavoured water! Any change in flavour and it becomes fucking juice. Now it's a soft drink, I hope you enjoy it you fucking twats.

Let me make this perfectly clear, if you alter the state of water in ANY way, it ceases to become water. It becomes ice, water vapour, or FUCKING JUICE! The very idea of this shit is so painful to my intelligence that I'm considering shoving my cock in the microwave just to take my mind off of it. I'm almost certain it would hurt less than this unrelenting stupidity.

It's not that I inherently hate the drink itself. You want to drink weak juice with some vitamins in it? Fine, I don't give a shit. Really, I don't. Just for the love of Christ do NOT have the audacity to call it water, it's shitty juice and you fucking know it you son of a bitch.

What else is causing my rage aneurysm you ask? If you guessed baseball cards you're close, but it's bottled water. This bullshit is the stupidest thing of all time and I include nazism in that. Everyone pays taxes to have clean, pure water flowing directly into our homes, and all we need to do to get it is turn on the tap. Awesome.

But what do we get? People leaving the safety of their homes to search for water, like our fucking ancestors did. Are you kidding me?! Why are people stupid enough to do something so, well, stupid? The main reason can be blamed on the fact that people are told to believe that bottled water is cleaner and safer than tap water. Fuck off. I'm going to make this perfectly clear. Bottled water is a business, and they have turned one of our few universal human rights into a product, end of story. The purpose of any business is to make money, and that's just what they are doing. It's genius really, what other product can you take out of the ground for nothing, put in a bottle, and sell back to people for more than the price of gasoline?

Now there are situations where bottled water is acceptable, like if your town's supply has been contaminated or is unsafe to drink, but we already have clean pure water flowing into our home, in fact here in Canada we have some of the purest cleanest tap water in the entire world. We're guzzling down this shit and filling landfills up to the tits with billions of plastic bottles. Not to mention the packaging of the water itself is ridiculously irresponsible, being over one hundred times more energy intensive than the already very efficient way water is distributed to cities. While this is happening, people in many other parts of the world don't even have the commodity of clean water. It's almost sickening to even think of.

Coke and Pepsi know what the fuck is up. They saw this shit and decided to bottle their own water. Coke came up with Dasani, and Pepsi has Aquafina. Yeah, who knows cleanliness and purity better than Coke and Pepsi? They're using their financial resources, marketing and transportation to make money hand over fist selling Coke and Pepsi without syrup for as much as Coke and Pepsi. It's things like this that make me die a little bit on the inside, I hope you're fucking happy.

Furthermore, just because you're in the store spending two dollars on a bottle of water doesnt mean its better than what you get out of the tap. Of all the bottled water companies examined in North America, 33% violated their own industry standards of safety. How does this happen? Because there is a discrepancy between the regulation of tap water and bottled water. The FDA is in charge of regulating bottled water rather than the EPA. The difference? The EPA has hundreds of people to ensure the safety and purity of tap water, where the FDA has only one person to regulate the purity of bottled water. Still think bottled water is better than tap? If not, then maybe you should check at the bottom of the nutritional facts (I'm not even touching that one, if I do I will most certainly lose my fucking mind) and notice that many bottled water companies say that the water is from "a municipal source". Do you know what that means? IT'S FUCKING TAP WATER! These fuckers are literally taking the water you already paid for and selling it back to you for absolutely biblical amounts of money, and you're just drinking it right up.

You may say that there are bigger problems out there, and I would agree whole-heartedly. There are bigger problems out there, so why get so pissed about water? I'll tell you why. Bottled water is not important in the grand scheme of things, but it is a symptom of much larger problems and easily avoidable ones at that. Those problems are rampant consumerism and an environmental disconnect. Think about what's going on, it's time to gain some perspective.

I am personally going to stick my dick in every bottle of water that is manufactured from now on.

Olympic Protesting

Greetings petty mortals. I am using this spare moment between exams to post my grievances over the increasingly popular idea of boycotting the Beijing Olympic games. To begin with, this is directed at the knobs who think that protesting the Olympics is great and Tibet should be free and blah blah blah I feel good about myself now.

Tibet has been battling for its sovereignty for 57 fucking years and everyone chooses to care when its the "hip" thing to do. Jesus fuck, everyone and their mom cared about Burma (Myanmar) 6 months ago, Darfur before that, and so on, all the way back to when Bob Geldof told everyone about Ethiopia (to keep to moderately recent events). Oh yeah, what's the hipster thing I should say here? Wait, I remember, FREE Tibet! Not since the mid 90's when a slew of larger bands (Beastie Boys) played to raise awareness of the Tibet issue have I witnessed so much temporary sympathy or vomited so much.

Protesting a sporting event does not make a political point you fucking twats. The Olympics are intended to be a world wide track meet. That's it. The host country was selected some 6 or 7 years ago (while Tibet was still not free) and they are expected to provide adequate facilities for the ATHLETES to come and compete in.

Example time. Because I know you morons love examples.

This is so fucking stupid I'm almost at a loss for words. Almost. If you are going to protest ANYTHING you better understand the historical context of things otherwise you have just proven your ineptitude. People like this are the reason why I'm pro-choice.

*If you didn't laugh at that picture and you are a supporter of Olympic protesting then you are also fucking stupid.

Berlin Germany - 1936
Nobody, absolutely no one boycotted the 1936 Olympics in Nazi Germany. There was some resentment from the Jewish community but ultimately things went okay all things considered. Hell, even a bunch of black athletes won medals.

Melbourne Australia - 1956
Two issues forced a number of countries to boycott the Olympics for completely stupid reasons. The Netherlands, Spain, and Switzerland were pissed that the Hungarian Uprising was thwarted by the Soviet Union. Cambodia, Egypt, Iraq, and Lebanon, boycotted the games due to the Suez Canal Crisis. How dumb is that? Not sending athletes that have trained for a majority of their lives in order to compete and you refuse to send them because of some squabble you're having. Either that or because your bleeding heart guilts you into not supporting the games in AUSTRALIA, which had nothing to do with either of those two reasons for boycott.

Munich Germany - 1972
Better known by its official slogan "The Happy Games". I'm not going to discuss the Palestinian/Israeli issue that arose during the games, because it has nothing to do with boycotting and was an isolated incident. I mention this event only because nobody boycotted Germany even though, you know... World War II.

Montreal - 1976
Canada went proactive and told the then Republic of China (Taiwan) that they could not compete under that name because Canada only recognized the People's Republic of China. Taiwan refused to compromise and they didn't come. Big loss. As well, Congo led a boycott of 28 African nations because IOC refused to disallow the New Zealand Rugby team from competing.

Moscow - 1980
In the heart of the cold war it was to be expected a number of countries would not send athletes. Those countries include; Canada, USA, Norway, Germany (west), China, Japan, Argentina, Turkey and others. This was mainly over a USA led boycott because of the recent Soviet invasion of Afghanistan. Promoters tried to keep politics out of the games but politics fucked things up again.

Los Angeles - 1984
For boycotting the 1980 Olympics the Soviet Union and its affiliates boycotted the LA version four years later out of spite. Again, politics fucked things up for the athletes.

All these examples tell us something. We have gotten a whole lot more retarded since 1936 when everybody sucked it up and marched right into the heart of Nazi-land because they wanted to compete. They left politics at the fucking door.

Then we had a full 24 years of good times. Until now, when all you mindless idiots decided to do a good deed and protest human rights violations to a country that doesn’t give a shit what the world thinks.

Human rights are all well and good, but protesting a sporting event that is intended to bring countries together and win some medals just sounds fucking stupid. To me it says: "We don't know what the Olympics represent, but its an easy opportunity to say fuck you China."

Mindless protesting I don't mind so much (to an extent). In fact, it amuses me because of how passionate people get over issues most of them do not fully understand or appreciate on a global political level. What I do mind is how people are so willing to speak for their national athletes and ruin their chance to compete on a global level at something they have devoted their lives to. Through your protesting and petty politics you are taking away THE RIGHT of those HUMANS to compete in an event that was made for athletes.

Different protest, but this guy has the right idea.

Much like the Church and State, let’s keep sporting events and State affairs separate.

Pennies

After working long enough in retail, along with being a consumer and a petty penny pincher, I have concluded that I am fed up with the epitome of bitch change. That's right assholes, the penny must die.

Now there is not really much to this argument so I'll keep things brief because I know you don't have to attention span to keep read anything over ten paragraphs in length.

Statistics to boil the blood:

- Canada spends 130 million dollars to producing the penny each year
- 1.2 billion pennies are produced per year in Canada
- There are an estimated 20 billion pennies in circulation currently

Lets break down the math. 1.2 billion pennies have a net value of 12 million dollars. 130 million spent on producing these 1.2 billion pennies means each penny is worth 0.1083 cents. The extra fraction of a cent spent on production doesn't seem like much until it's on a grand scale. So let's note that 0.0083 x 1.2 billion equals a net loss of 9.96 million dollars producing the penny per year.

Australia and New Zealand are on the ball, they did away with the penny several years ago and they currently round cash transactions to the nearest dime. Great idea. It has also been noted that there is almost no economical repercussions for rounding up or down as they seem to balance out.

So what do most of us do with our pennies? I personally either throw mine at people or store them in a cup holder or jar in hopes that someday I'll have enough pennies to buy a gallon of gas. A truly fantastic waste of resources. Hell, I don't even know people that bend over for anything short of a quarter.

Do away with the fucking penny, we don't use it, its a waste of precious copper, a waste of money to produce and its a fucking waste of space in my pocket.

No reason to keep it, so be gone with it.

The War in Iraq

This is a touchy issue for some people, but I’m not some people. I have sat idle by and have heard every “patriotic” argument supporting the war, and every close-minded leftist opinion against the war. The problem here is that society is fucked in so many ways its almost impossible for the average retard citizen to find enough motivation to sort through the bullshit, reflect on past historical occurrences and find that media propaganda is skewing your belief of how the war is going.

A brief summary of what has happened in the last seven years. Al Qaeda terrorists hijacked four passenger jet airliners and crashed them into the World Trade Center towers, the Pentagon, and a field in Pennsylvania. Following the incident the United States then started not one, but two illegal wars in Afghanistan and Iraq in what we have been told is an attempt to thwart terrorism at the heart of the problem.

To bring forth a key point that will run throughout the rest of this post, WAR = PROFIT. Investors, banks and national reserve just love war because it requires the government to take out huge amounts of money AT INTEREST in order to fund military operations. Especially if certain people can participate in treason and fund both sides of the war, thereby making double the profit. Lets note how J.P. Morgan funded both the US and Germans in World War I, making an estimated 200 billion dollars. Or in today’s standards 1.2 TRILLION FUCKING DOLLARS. With that point out of the way, lets progress through analysis of the situation.

Time for a history lesson. The American public has never had an interest in world affairs, this was shown quite predominantly during WWI and WWII where America chose to not get involved until they were attacked. The problem lies in that America cannot gain public support if they are perceived as the aggressors, so they play sideline antagonist and hope for retaliation.
World War I, the US entered the war after an ocean liner named the Lusitania was destroyed while crossing the Atlantic from US to England. The ship sunk in under 20 minutes and 1,200 people died. Since Americans were victims on this ship it was then justified for the government to go into battle, thus creating profit for the same private investors who arranged for the Lusitania to travel through known German waters.

World War II. Everybody knows the attack on Pearl Harbour lead the Americans to war. But leading up to the event Roosevelt was doing everything he could to piss off the Japanese. This includes trade restrictions, dealing with their enemies, and much more. Australian intelligence even warned him that a big task force from Japan was moving into the Pacific.

Fast forward. America has admitted to knowing something was up about 9/11 and chose not to act on it. A perfect catalyst to gain the American publics support for retaliation because America was the “victim”.

I'm going to ignore the illegal war part because I am not an expert on the legality of war, nor do I care about how legal a war is because IT’S STILL A FUCKING WAR LEGAL OR NOT. America has since routed two reigning regimes in a matter of years, and has now been participating in a security enforcement role.

The problem for you naive fucks is that you do not hear about any successes from the war, when in reality the whole mission has gone quite well, by war standards at least. Why haven’t we heard the good things? Because constant failure means that the war must last longer and a longer war means what? You guessed it, more profit.

The information we obtain is also very, very select, as it's coming from news sources that are controlled by those same people who are profiting from war. Everything you see on television has been adjusted to have a political and financial appeal for those who run the world. By believing everything you see you are playing directly into their fucking plans and making the rich even richer at the cost of eternal debt and loss of lives.

Nobody seems to remember when two British soldiers were captured in Arab outfits shooting at civilians on the street in an effort to produce more civil conflict, thus creating more justification for a military presence. War mongering at its finest.

Now the beautiful repercussions that have come from this never ending Terrorist threat? Homeland Security and the Patriot Act. These two things are responsible for giving the US government the most control it has ever had over the public. And why does the public openly embrace these ideas? Because they have been scared shitless by the media who has been mongering fear to the American public like its going out of style. The media manipulated the naive fucks of the public to WANTING the government to have more control over day to day life. It's almost laughable. Almost.

Now, with that out of the way let’s look at another aspect of why society sucks. If you are a frequent reader of this blog you are probably aware that my counterpart and I have a certain amount of disgust over how mindless we have become and how we are fucking obsessed with immediate results. And it is ruining modern life.

With that said, look back throughout history at the various revolutions that have occurred to institute democracy, the French Revolution and American Revolution being the most popular. THEY DID NOT HAPPEN OVER FUCKING NIGHT. The American revolution took over 7 years to finally succeed. You cannot seriously expect final results in altering the whole Iraqi hierarchal system within a few years. Fuck, the Sunni’s have been in power for centuries, and now they’re no better than the Kurds of Shi’ites and it pisses them the fuck off. You would be pissed too and you know it.

Reflect on how the Iraqi’s feel right now. They are fighting for their ideals against a superior force using questionable tactics and localized support. Reflect on how the American’s during the revolution felt. They fought for their ideals against a superior force using questionable tactics and localized support. Pretty similar, eh?

In conclusion, look past the media bullshit and gain some goddamn patience. Without public pressure and an ability to see just who is pulling the strings on the war, it will be a long conflict. Forcing the government to act is the key. History has a nasty tendency to repeat itself and rather than question the government, you mindlessly obey as they exert more and more power over the general populous until eventually totalitarianism is inescapable.

Seriously, it's time to gain some fucking perspective.

Environmentalists

Good day friends. I've been rather perturbed at a number of beliefs and ideals that environmentalists stand for/praise, so bear with me as I address a number of things I feel you should be informed about. Environmentalist, the term used to have meaning before ignorant assholes commandeered the green movement mere moments after watching Al Gore’s unfortunate documentary about global warming. This movement has entailed such ideals as Hybrid/electric/hydrogen cars, genetically modified food, “green power”, recycling and saving the various forests.

I’m only naming those points because I’m going to address those and if I were to address anymore then your pathetic attention span would prevent you from finishing my delightful post.

Topic the first, non-fossil fuel cars. Fantastic in theory, but these new and improved horseless carriages can only be so perfect. Take the hybrids for example, they have had numerous problems with misleading mileage claims, problems with batteries in cold weather, new driving techniques required and the near silent running have been cited problems. Not so perfect anymore, eh?

Electric? The silent operation means a higher chance of driving over somebodies inattentive child, and I’m sure you want that on your conscience. Not to mention the production and disposal of batteries is wonderful for the environment, with all those biodegradable heavy metals and battery acids! Let’s also note that they require charging and the electricity comes from unclean sources most of the time. So fuck you.

“But what about Hydrogen cars Brett?” Well with that particular concept the fuel is the problem. The methods for producing the fuel are heating methane under high pressure with a catalyst in a steam atmosphere, which requires natural gas. Another method is electrically breaking water into hydrogen and oxygen, and since fossil fuels and nuclear energy make up a good portion of electrical product that means pollution (in nuclear or smog form) is created in order to make a clean fuel. Let’s also examine how the vehicles will leave water trails on the roads… in cold weather. If you haven’t pieced it together yet, that means ice you fucking twit. But seriously, get off your high horse if you believe that changing vehicles will fucking cure the world ASAP. Get a tune up and a more sensible car and shut your fucking trap. These new designs, while good in theory are not all what they are cracked up to be. The new designs are not as perfect as we are lead to believe and we need to stop pushing the blame around. Period.

Topic the second, genetically modified food or as the “environmentalists” call it, “Frankenfood”. I find that term to be improper because Frankenstein was a useless motherfucker. Whereas GMO’s have a number of benefits for many different people.
For instance, GMO’s have allowed Mexican farmers to grow corn in soil with high aluminum concentrations, which for those of you who are retarded, is a good thing. How about the engineering that has added vitamin A to rice so that the 1.24 million Asian children out there who have vitamin A deficiency don’t have to suffer anymore. To emphasize things, genetically modifying food has been around for millenia,ever hear of cross breeding plants?

Look at how corn/cotton has been modified to produce its own toxins (harmless to humans by the way) that kill any pests that try to eat it. Now you may think that’s all terrible, but note that milkweed and the acacia tree do the same thing naturally. Downside? No medical problems have been directly associated with genetically modified food. You can cry about GMO food all you want because YOU ARE NOT FUCKING STARVING TO DEATH because of chronic food shortages.

“I only eat organic because it’s definitely better for me!” Well, that’s a statement of blissful ignorance if I had ever heard one. Organic has not been proven to be better than other food; it has been MARKETED THAT WAY. Organic farmers are businessmen, and the sole purpose in business is to make money. Let us also note that organic regulations are so slack that in theory, you can dust your drops with up to 30% heavy metals and still call it organic. Organic farmers can also fertilize their fields with heavy doses of human sewage which contains an abundance of everything you don't want near your food. Sounds mighty appealing to me. I hope you enjoy your over priced food now.

Green power is a broad term that includes the likes of wind power, geothermic, hydroelectric and solar power. Let me refute and approve of each to the best of my ability.

Wind power sounds pretty awesome! But let us consider the raw materials that go into production of these hulking towers, those use fossil fuels in production. Let us also consider that many of the towers used are made in Europe and have to be shipped over then trucked to their final destination, further use of fossil fuels. However, once assembled they are decent at producing power. So right now they are OK!

Geothermic is the only form that I find to be truly clean. The utilization of the Earths heat to produce electricity is a great idea; the only thing that is required is a lot of strategic piping. Iceland has done things perfect, and for that I commend them. Good job you fucking Vikings!

Hydroelectricity, dams in particular are ecological disasters and use a ridiculous amount of materials that go into production. For instance, the Hoover dam has enough concrete in it to pave a two-lane road from San Francisco to New York City. That combined with the huge regions that become flooded behind the dam, destroying perfectly good land in the process. They wreck river habitats, are an eyesore and are huge economic undertakings. Dams lose.

Solar panels suck, in that they require oil to heat water to produce electricity, the panels themselves produce toxins when being made and they take up huge stretches of land for (relatively) low amounts of power gain.

Coal fire plants suck in every way shape and form. So fuck you.

Nuclear power I don’t see the problem with, no emissions, huge megawatt output, great career opportunities. Only problem is the nuclear waste disposal and terrorist threat (which I may or may not touch on in a later posting) to cure the disposal problem I say lets either:

A) Shoot it into the sun
B) Dump it in a volcano
C) Shut the fuck up

With that said, green power is an illusion. Anything can be green in comparison with the coal fire plants spewing shit over the landscape. Everything has its drawbacks and the initial production cost on the environment has to be weighed against the overall amount of pollution saved.

Recycling, there is really nothing to refute but the tedious process of separating trash. Seriously, what the fuck is this about. Think about it, if you could throw everything in one bin and a recycling plant does all the sorting then recycling would be both convenient and kick ass. Oh yeah, let us also note the excessive amounts of pollution that is produced to recycle plastic and paper. So fuck off on your self righteous attitude. If I throw a plastic bottle in the trash it will not end the world. So somebody go bring the idea of mass sorting to life, until then the overall pathetic laziness of society will prevent everyone from recycling.

“Green is a revolution, it’s for the better of everybody” Now that’s just the type of sentence that has obviously come straight from a commercial and you are rehashing it for the world. You know who else led a “revolution” for the better of “everybody”?
To cite some events;

- Bolshevik revolution that established communism and formed the Soviet Union
- Spanish revolution
- Cuban revolution
- Irish Republican Army
- Ba’ath revolutionary party (that put Hussein in power)

So is revolution really the right word? No, let’s call it a green movement that is based solely off guilt. It's awesome how ignorant people can be that by saving the planet one way they turn a blind eye and manage to use more resources in another aspect of life.

Look at the real pros and cons of each of these “green” alternatives and decide which is better for your particular situation. Don’t let a fucking commercial decide what you should do. Rather, note that it is almost impossible to not leave an ecological footprint in western society short of living in a hobbit hole or a tent or a cave, growing all your own food and never having fires. We are wasteful by nature. You cannot change your fucking lifestyle to make a real difference, or you can buy into the idea that this stuff is as clean as it gets. You want to believe you are better than everybody else because you drive a Prius? How about you get a fucking clue. Stop the fucking condescending attitude and make a real lifestyle change you pompous assholes. Learn to conserve.

DO THESE THINGS:

* Get a tune up
* Balance your tires
* Make sure your house is properly insulated
* Turn off your lights
* AC? Fuck off
* Add some geothermic piping to your house or a rooftop solar panel
* Use your fucking brain for once

Westboro Baptist Church

Friends, tonight I cordially invite you to come and stew with me in my unrelenting fury, as my suffering is more tolerable when I have others to drag down with me. You all are most likely well aware that I hate - a lot. But I hate with style and creativity. I don't hate you, but I do hate weakness, and all the ignorant shit weakness brings. This takes me to my next point. Friends, in a second I'd like you to meet the fucktards of the Westboro Baptist Church.

But before I get ahead of myself, I should mention at this point that for all intents and purposes, I am agnostic. For those unaware, this means that while I don't outright deny the existence of a greater power, it is inherently unknowable and therefore irrelevant in the process of my day-to-day life. You could say that makes my opinion biased, and therefore arguably invalid in the present context. Fortunately for me I don't give a shit about what you think. If there is a God, He is the one who made me this way, which was His mistake, so fuck off.

Now then, back to the source of my near-crippling fury. For those who aren't acquainted with these wastes of air, let me introduce you to them. The Westboro Baptist Church is a religious organization based in Kansas and headed by the ignorant pig that is Fred Phelps. The church and its fear-based following runs numerous hate-mongering anti-homosexual websites, the most noteworthy being www.GodHatesFags.com.

They also have numerous other websites expressing condemnation of Catholics, Muslims, Jews, and pretty much every living thing that draws breath on this planet. Essentially, God hates everyone except them. Pretty fucking convenient, huh? Put it this way; are you a member of the Westboro Baptist Church? No? Well then you are going to spend eternity in hell. Cool.

As it turns out, Phelps' two-hundred followers are only allowed to marry within the church. The catch is, it's made up entirely of relatives of either Fred or his wife. So what do you do? You go out and play push-push with your sister in the name of the Almighty. I don't know about you, but that sounds damn hot to me. So not only are they a toxic cult of self righteous hypocrites poisoning the minds of others with unwarranted hatred, they're also a bunch of inbred cousin-fuckers. Awesome.

The church bases its work (I use the term "work" loosely) around the belief that nearly every tragedy in the world is linked to homosexuality – specifically society's increasing tolerance and acceptance of the so-called "Homosexual Agenda." Homosexual agenda indeed. Homosexual behavior has been observed and documented in close to 1,500 species throughout the animal kingdom, ranging from primates to gut worms, yet we as humans are the only ones who have a problem with homosexuality. Give me a fucking break you worthless cunts.

A perfect example of this was Hurricane Katrina. The WBC is rooted firmly in their retarded fucking ideology that Hurricane Katrina is the result of God punishing homosexuals with a little good old-fashioned floodin'. Now this is where their account of things becomes a bit convoluted. The primary gay neighborhood in New Orleans is Faubourg Marigny. Now I'm not saying Katrina didn't fuck shit up, but here's the thing; Marigny was virtually untouched by the entire disaster. As fate would have it, the neighborhood was elevated enough to escape most of the catastro-fuck that was Katrina. So now I ask you, if these people are such a blight in the eyes of the Almighty, why then is He so fucking lazy when it comes to their eradication from the face of the Earth? Either that, or God isn't as angry with gays so much as He is with the gay-adjacent.

Oh yeah, they also protest funerals. Yeah, you read right, they protest fucking funerals! Are you fucking kidding me? I know now in my heart that Fred Phelps' parents fucked on a microwave at his conception. I know this, because there is no other explanation for this level of unrelenting stupidity. In a perfect world these retards would receive a savage beating with a sack full of door-knobs at the hands of government thugs as punishment for the suffering inflicted on my mind, which is directly attributed to their own ineptitude.

These assholes have protested a running total of approximately 80 military funerals in 30 states, citing a belief that the Iraq War is a punishment for the nation's tolerance of homosexuality. I'm not going to go into the Iraq war in any context presently, because that is a whole other ball of wax. Right now what's pissing me the fuck off is that only result of this situation is that these soldiers died so that cunts like this could stand across the street and protest their funeral and shout about how they're burning in hell. I don't care what you think about the war, because no matter how you slice it that is fucking despicable. Now pardon me while I go vomit in rage.

It's not hard to understand simple-minded prejudice of this nature, but what's weird about this is that there is no other person in all of Kansas who spends all day thinking about anal sex as much as Fred does. Isn't it ironic that the most prominent anti-homosexual advocate in the country has always got cock on his mind? Methinks Fred doth protest too much (for those not familiar with Shakespeare: Fred's gay). If he is, I don't see any problem with it. I've got friends who fuck dudes, it's no big deal. So why is Fred Phelps such a self-loathing closet homosexual who projects his anger onto others to cope with the emptiness inside his own soul? Because he's a cunt.

Final word. The Bible was not written by God. We know this because it is so full of contradictions. Need proof? How did Judas die? Please note it's a multiple choice question and all the answers are correct. I'm not downing Christianity at all, my point is just that the Bible was written by man. Man is imperfect, which therefore makes the Bible capable of being fallible. Instead of causing pain and making the world a worse place in the process of doing so, why not take the Bible for what it is; a guide to being a better person and to teach you to love as Jesus loved. But that's not what we have here. Instead we have people dictating what 'God' thinks. How would they know what He thinks? The answer is they don't. They construct a 'God' figure as a way to express and enforce their own draconian views on the world.

Faith should not be used as a weapon, I hope you all choke to death on a bag of dicks you fucking hate-mongers.

Earth Hour

Seriously what the fuck was with this publicity stunt? All around the world let’s turn off our lights for a single hour. Now the premise has good intentions, claiming what, 10% reduction in CO2 emissions? That’s good of course.

However, the problem lies in the promotion and execution of the event. Leaflets, public booths with televisions and laptops, banners… Let's think of all this on a world scale, that’s a lot of fucking paper to use on pamphlets and a lot of electricity used on advertising.

Not to mention the rallies and events that occurred during said hour. Did anybody note the amount of generators up and running to provide electricity to events? Yes, let's overlook that minor contradiction.

Does anybody actually care about the environment or has it become the cool thing to do now? I’m having trouble figuring out which is which now. I suspect that it has become the hip thing to do, like voting for the Green Party.

Lets all be aware of our ecological footprint when it’s a popular event so we can all participate and say we participated to our friends. YAY! Give me a fucking break. Environmental activism requires constant action, even if it’s just a little thing it makes a big difference when implemented on a large scale. We are so obsessed with immediate results it’s fucking ridiculous. How about learning some patience and seeing how things can change for the better if given enough time?

This whole thing reminds me of the (red) campaign that ended up spending more in advertising than it actually took in profit for AIDS research. Why not just give a portion of ALL your fucking profits to AIDS research? I’m looking at you Steve Jobs and Bono.

Final word. Earth Hour, while good in theory to encourage people to turn off their lights (which we should already be fucking practicing) needs much work done on the execution and the social attitudes surrounding it. It’s to ENCOURAGE turning off your lights, its not a once a year fucking thing you twats.

Commit fully to the idea or don’t participate you fucks.