Thursday, March 27, 2008

Disposable Razor Blades

Loyal readers, I'm sure you are well aware that I hate a lot of things, but the object of my fury at this particular moment is the scam that is disposable razors. I am a casual shaver and therefore do not go through blades very quickly, but when I visited a Shoppers Drug Mart yesterday to consider purchasing a 4-pack of blades for my Fusion (which I got for free) I was alarmed, outraged, and genuinely pissed that this small package would end up costing me just over $21.

While researching I found multiple advertisements that said I should be changing my blades every three uses. To that I say FUCK YOU. Lets do some math (if you are competent enough to follow along).

For instance, I shave 3 times per week (give or take)
Meaning I should change my blade once per week.
4 Weeks in a month means one refill pack per month.
12 months x $21/pack = $252 a year
$252 divided by 48 blades = $5.25 per week
Fuck that.

Lets use people 15+ as a template for how shitty this actually is. Both men and women because both got regions to keep tidy.
2006 Stats Canada Census says that 20% of the population is under 15. That leaves us with 80% of the popular able to shave (give or take)
Population of 32million/0.8 = 25.6 Million people that presumably shave.
Lets assume that those 25.6 million people shave 3 times a week for simplicity sake.
25.6 million X 48 razors used per year = 1,228,800,000 disposable razors used annually.
Those 1,228,800,000 being $5.25 a piece equates to a mighty $6,451,200,000 spent on razors annually by Canadians. Thats right, 6.45 BILLION FUCKING DOLLARS.
That is fucking ridiculous. To emphasize my point, an aircraft carrier costs 4.5 billion.

Now keep in mind these are all theoretical numbers. When in reality I change my blades when the shave becomes so terrible the blades pull the hair off my face rather then gently slice it off. So that number would be more around $50 tops a year for myself. But those who do religiously change their blades make up for this outlier result.

Lets analyze the actual razors though, I will share my thoughts on the Gillette Fusion of what I have designated "5 Blade Badass". So you say "more blades = better?" Well in theory, yes. However, they have placed the blades too close to each other leading to mass clogging issues. Half a pass on thicker regions and I am required to rinse. However it does provide a close shave.

The cost of hygiene is fucking ridiculous and I am enraged to even ponder how much money the various disposable razor companies are making annually. Make me a fucking straight razor and I will use it. Why? Because it's almost as badass as using a sword to shave with, I can sharpen it myself and that is smooth.

I'm actually paralyzed with rage at this moment because of how much money is used, let alone the environmental consequences of throwing out 1.2 billion sharp objects.

I send a big "Fuck you!" the following companies;
* BIC Corporation
* Braun (company)
* DOVO Solingen
* Global Gillette
* Headblade
* Norelco
* Philips
* Philishave
* Remington Products
* Rolls Razor
* Straight Razor
* Thiers Issard
* Wilkinson Sword

1 comment:

jason said...

This also fucking enrages me because I have to shave every day, not that I want to but because I’m made to, but I also only change the blade when the hairs start to be pulled out rather than cut.
Keep up the good work you make many hilarious but valid points.