Thursday, March 27, 2008

Vegans: Part Two

Vegan: a person who abstains from consuming any food from an animal origin. What the definition is missing is the fact that almost every person who proclaims to be a vegan inherits a terribly militant attitude towards everyone else. This hostility possibly stems from a defensive nature that take because their reasons for such a lifestyle are so poor. It should be noted that even within the vegan community there is a degree of elitism as to what level each person takes their eating habits. Guess what, there is no fucking winning with these people. The only way they will regard your opinion is if you either;

A) Work for the propaganda machine known as PETA
B) Eat dirt

Follow me, as I break down the hypocrisies of the vegan lifestyle and determine just why the fuck these people think they are the greatest thing on the planet.

First, let me criticize those who take on the lifestyle, but have no clue what they are doing and just cut out all animal products without replacing them. Sad fact, your body requires proteins, fats and many vitamins/nutrients that we normally obtain through eating meat and by eliminating those from your diet you leave yourself susceptible to lowered immune system, weight loss, malnutrition, and nutrient deficiency. Fantastic. First, to combat this you must eat a varied diet and in some cases take supplements in order to stay healthy. Secondly, eating more vegetables requires more farmland which means we have to destroy more forest to produce those tasty fruits and vegetables. Third, fuck you for being a burden on the health-care system.

Also, fuck you for designing tofu to taste like meat products. Tofu turkey? Fuck off. When you gave up meat you gave up its delicious taste. Same goes to veggie burgers.

So you say "eating meat is killing the planet" well that may be so, seeing as meat provides 1/10 the overall energy provided by plants and livestock requires a lot of grazing land. This is where factory farms come into play, they minimize space and maximize product at the expense of animals having personal space. I'm not even going to go into factory farms being cruel to animals, because I have no clue what is comfortable to an animal and NEITHER DO YOU. Rather we pamper them with human standards of comfort, which for all we know is incorrect.

No dairy products? Come on. Now I should clarify that I do not support the estrogen injections associated with increased milk production. With that said, milking is the harvesting of excess milk (excess because calves are not starving because we needed another gallon for the shelf) by massaging the tits of some mammal. Truly cruelty to animals.

Hiding behind the PETA banner is infuriating to say the least. They flood you with propaganda and you choke it down like a tofu hot dog (fuck you). When in reality you are being subjected to images that tug on your heartstrings like a proverbial harp. "Oh look at the cute animal dying". Yet you don't blink an eye at some repulsive or not so cute creature being digested (fish much?). On that note, why don't you visit and tell me what you think of your favourite organization.

Finally, stop fucking complaining about food services not catering to you. Food services are devoted to making money from a large majority of a population, and you know what? Vegans on average making up less than 0.5% of any given western population. As a man of reason I am able to conclude that from a business perspective, YOU ARE NOT A FUCKING DEMOGRAPHIC WORTH CATERING TO. You chose the lifestyle now fucking live with it.

Now I'm not condemning the whole damn movement. Because that would be ignorant (take a lesson). Rather this is directed solely at those who have no clue how to be a vegan or why they are a vegan but yet manage to hold themselves on a higher pedestal than everybody else. Some vegans I can even bring myself to respect because they have a good thing going for them and know how to do things right. The rest of you blind and ignorant fucks should take a lesson from these people.

In conclusion, stop being such a smug and demanding ignorant fuck by shoving your moral convictions on others who really don't give a damn. Also, don't believe everything PETA says, that goes back to my previous point of being a retarded lemming.

Either do it right and don't complain, or don't do it at all.

1 comment:

BTDAN said...

holy shit brett, Glorious.