Dearest readers, I come to you this week not with pent up rage over a particularly irritating social phenomenon, but rather I am going to share a story with you. What is to follow is a long and arduous tale about a boy that got in a car accident and the issues and legal woes that follows. I will try and keep this moderately objective and you can form your own opinion on the matter.
It all begins on a fateful April day, myself, T.J. and Curt were driving down from Owen Sound to Toronto to witness a live performance by ska legend Streetlight Manifesto at the Phoenix concert theatre. All was going well until we hit the portion of Highway 10 in Brampton at around 4:30pm or so and traffic was significantly congested. At approximately 5:15pm I was in the middle lane of three lanes on this highway and passed through an intersection, only to have traffic come to an abrupt halt in front of me. I slammed on the breaks but didn’t have quite enough room to come to a complete stop and ended up rear ending an Accord that had stopped or was close to stopping in this middle lane.
For the sake of objectivity I will not elaborate on the causation of the collision, point is, I was the hitter in this situation, as is the case with rear ending situations it seems. (I will admit to nothing until after December 23).
Since I actually did hit the brakes quite hard the front of my car dipped with forward momentum and went underneath the bumper of the Accord, causing my hood to buckle, grill and radiator to crack, bumped damage and fender damage. No airbags deployed nor did the headlights crack or even stop working. Could this perhaps indicate just how low the impact speed was? Since the hood was crumpled and radiator was cracked we had no choice but to wait for a tow truck to conveniently happen by within five minutes of the collision.
The accord suffered minor cosmetic damage, with scratches and a dent on the rear bumper and the muffler being pushed out of one of its hangers. No airbags deployed either. In my opinion, drivable. In fact, I bet my van is in worse shape normally.
We are now pulled off onto the shoulder of the highway waiting for the police to arrive to fill out an accident report, the lady understandably yells at me a bit but is otherwise pretty calm about matters, all factors considered. Her two daughters who were also with her got out and noted nothing regarding injury, other than being a little shaken up by the matter. No ambulance was called.
Tow trucks swooped in on the scene within mere minutes and began giving us the Torontonian once over. Claiming he somehow knows my insurance policy inside and out and my car has to be stored in Brampton for the night and they’ll fix it here and give me a rental, and so on... This was not the case at all, which took many phone calls with my Mom to get sorted out.
The Police arrive at 6:15-6:20 (over an hour later) to take drivers statements and fill out an accident report. Although we had exchanged few words with the family, all conversation pointed to they said they were all “Okay” and that’s what matters in this situation. The cars are then towed to a nearby gas station where the officer finishes the report and the family has their dad/husband come pick them up. I was deemed “at fault” for the accident and was then issued a ticket for “Careless Driving”- a ticket that is 6 demerit points and a $325 fine.
Meanwhile the family's dad/husband has arrived, and our parting words with the woman revolved around “sorry”, and she again confirmed that they were all fine and all was good, relatively speaking. The dad/husband is busy talking with the tow truck drivers (who had indeed towed the accord) and didn’t appear to be upset regarding the incident. He even went so far as to hand the tow truck drivers his business card (mattress salesman?) and they left.
Myself, T.J. and Curt then had to wait for just over two hours in a nearby Wendy’s/Tim Horton’s for my mom to come and pick us up. All the while I just sat there processing “what in the fuck” had just happened.
My ticket was the main puzzler, as I had always considered careless driving a very serious offense for serious accidents. This is the MTO's breakdown of high point offenses. Somehow I am on par with people who pass stopped school buses and street race.
7 Points –
Failing to remain at the scene of a collision
Failing to stop when signaled/requested by a police officer
6 Points –
Careless Driving
Racing
Exceeding the speed limit by 50 km/h or more
Failing to stop for a school bus
Here are 3 quick examples of cases that resulted in Careless Driving Charges being pressed.
1. “A road rage incident in downtown Owen Sound Thursday morning quickly escalated into a chase and a mini smashup derby. The incident ended near an elementary school with both drivers charged under the new stunt driving section of the Highway Traffic Act, along with careless driving and failing to remain at the scene of an accident.” http://www.owensoundsuntimes.com/ArticleDisplay.aspx?e=1020075
2. “The most extreme case of the long weekend involved a 17-year-old Barrie driver who was charged with going 239 kph in an 80 zone on Highway 26 north of Barrie. His father's Lincoln was impounded and the youth was charged with street racing, careless driving and failure to surrender his license”
- http://www.wellandtribune.ca/ArticleDisplay.aspx?e=1035041&auth=The+Tribune
3. “Police say a compact car heading eastbound on East Main Street was attempting to make a left hand turn on to Moyer Road. The vehicles collided and the man was thrown from the bike. The sole occupant of the car, a 34-year-old Port Colborne woman, was unhurt.
Police say Catherine Bowen has been charged with careless driving”
http://www.wellandtribune.ca/ArticleDisplay.aspx?e=1000750
You can decide if I’m really a “careless driver” after reading those particular incidents.
If convicted my insurance rate will go up by 480%, from $2500 per year to a whopping $12,000 a year. I, of course had no choice but to fight this ticket. The catch to that is, you have fifteen days to file for a court date, and the kicker is I have to drive down to Mississauga to file in person, whilst the court houses hours are 9am-12pm and 2pm-3:45pm only on Monday, Wednesdays and Fridays. Leaving a rather inconvenient window to arrive in. A rather clever structure built specifically so that people become deterred from fighting tickets, thus garnering more money for the province. Fuck.
After driving for two hours, standing in line for ten minutes and driving back home I have my date booked. Wish me luck on December 23rd, 2008 at 10:30am as I am to plead my case of not guilty of careless driving.
Chapter two will come within a week or two and it will include info about insurance dealings with my car and some further ugliness in the situation.
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Marijuana
It enrages me to no end when something I myself enjoy manages to become associated with people I loathe. Though my friendship with marijuana itself hasn't waned at all, I can't help but become disenchanted with it as a whole when I think of all of the useless fucks who are ruining it for everyone by acting like jackasses.
Let's get this fucking crystal. I'm not an anti-marijuana advocate in any fashion, I'm just an anti-retard advocate. There are those out there who smoke marijuana but don't piss me off at all. This rant is not about them. Now then, I enjoy dope like there's a future in it for me, but that's the end of it, I enjoy it, it's not my entire fucking life. You want to spark a joint after a long day to take the edge off and relax? Fine. You want to kick back and smoke a bowl while re-watching the movie Willow? I'm there. But for the love of Christ do not just sit on your dumb ass and smoke dope all day everyday, you look fucking stupid.
Seriously though, 420? Why the fuck is this considered such a big deal to everyone? You can smoke dope every single day of the year you jackasses, you don't need a holiday to take a day off from sitting on your ass and being pathetic just so you can sit on your ass and be pathetic. All I end up doing on 420 is laughing at all of you twats who have nothing better to do with your lives than sit around and smoke pot.
I just love it when those fuckers get baked and decide to wax philosophical. And when I say I love it, I mean I'd rather dig at the vein in my cock with a linoleum knife than listen to the shit that falls out of their stupid mouthes. It just ruins the entire prospect of smoking dope. I smoke this shit to mellow out and relax, not speculate on the world's problems and take on your idiocy in tandem. Stop trying to unlock the keys to the universe you stupid twats, you can come find me when you want to discuss whether or not Bob Barker got a lot of pussy. And for the last time, I don't care that you've become intertwined with the fabric of space and time, pass the fucking Doritos. Assholes.
You'll surely find that it's all too common for people to bemoan the current state of the world or bitch about Tibet or some other horse shit after they get stoned. There is tons of shit wrong in this fucking world, that's a given. However, you can't claim moral superiority to ANYBODY when all you do is sit on your ass, get high, and eat fucking Chex Mix. There is seldom in this world that is more selfish and greedy.
I should probably mention at this point that I think it's absurd that marijuana is illegal in the first place, given that the government already makes ass loads of money selling you a wide variety of narcotics. The only reason marijuana is illegal is because the government doesn't like you medicating yourself in a way that doesn't make them money, they want you to pay them to use THEIR drugs.
While I find that fundamentally repulsive, let me also say this: what do you think those critical of marijuana legalization think when they see a bunch of shaggy mouth-breathing college students yelling "legalize it, man!" You're not fucking helping you pieces of shit. Those responsible for changing the current laws see this behavior as a reason to keep the shit illegal in hopes that it will maybe deter this type of idiocy, and it's hard for me to blame them. This is really embarrassing, I've never seen anything defeat it's own purpose so well. I'm all for the protest and activism that can change these laws, but for God's sake conduct yourself in a responsible and intelligent manner if you want anyone to take you seriously.
It irritates the piss out of me when the amount of weed you inhale becomes a point of pride. So you smoke x amount of dope y times a day and get "so high"? Who fucking cares? News flash morons, anyone can inhale smoke, it's not a skill you loathsome fucking twats. Claiming how often you get high every day does not impress me, dealing does not impress me, grow ops do not impress me, YOU DO NOT FUCKING IMPRESS ME! Stop trying to be a badass by doing something that is already so tired out and mundane. You're smoking a plant, big fucking deal. You want to be truly awesome? Do something creative and unheard of, like, I don't know, punch a dragon to death. Do that and you'll get my fucking attention.
While we're on the subject of chemical dependency, I will say this: while I have no inherent problems with pot itself, I have a major problem with people who are addicted to the least addictive drug in the fucking world. If you're even going to talk to me about addiction you'd fuckin' better be shooting heroin into your fucking tear ducts or smoking meth. If not, shut your god damn mouths and give me a fucking break you useless douchebags.
I love marijuana, but the underlying selfishness and weakness that comes with a large portion of those who smoke pot is intolerable. All this tells me is that you have no real skills to offer the world and need to escape the harsh reality of existence so often it proves that you are a fucking pussy. You are not hardcore for being a perma-fried asshole, the real badasses are those who take all the shit the world has to throw at them without chemical dependence as a crutch. Go out and make something of yourself you weak son of a bitch.
I don't give a shit if I'm harshing your mellow, I still hope your children get molested.
Let's get this fucking crystal. I'm not an anti-marijuana advocate in any fashion, I'm just an anti-retard advocate. There are those out there who smoke marijuana but don't piss me off at all. This rant is not about them. Now then, I enjoy dope like there's a future in it for me, but that's the end of it, I enjoy it, it's not my entire fucking life. You want to spark a joint after a long day to take the edge off and relax? Fine. You want to kick back and smoke a bowl while re-watching the movie Willow? I'm there. But for the love of Christ do not just sit on your dumb ass and smoke dope all day everyday, you look fucking stupid.
Seriously though, 420? Why the fuck is this considered such a big deal to everyone? You can smoke dope every single day of the year you jackasses, you don't need a holiday to take a day off from sitting on your ass and being pathetic just so you can sit on your ass and be pathetic. All I end up doing on 420 is laughing at all of you twats who have nothing better to do with your lives than sit around and smoke pot.
I just love it when those fuckers get baked and decide to wax philosophical. And when I say I love it, I mean I'd rather dig at the vein in my cock with a linoleum knife than listen to the shit that falls out of their stupid mouthes. It just ruins the entire prospect of smoking dope. I smoke this shit to mellow out and relax, not speculate on the world's problems and take on your idiocy in tandem. Stop trying to unlock the keys to the universe you stupid twats, you can come find me when you want to discuss whether or not Bob Barker got a lot of pussy. And for the last time, I don't care that you've become intertwined with the fabric of space and time, pass the fucking Doritos. Assholes.
You'll surely find that it's all too common for people to bemoan the current state of the world or bitch about Tibet or some other horse shit after they get stoned. There is tons of shit wrong in this fucking world, that's a given. However, you can't claim moral superiority to ANYBODY when all you do is sit on your ass, get high, and eat fucking Chex Mix. There is seldom in this world that is more selfish and greedy.
I should probably mention at this point that I think it's absurd that marijuana is illegal in the first place, given that the government already makes ass loads of money selling you a wide variety of narcotics. The only reason marijuana is illegal is because the government doesn't like you medicating yourself in a way that doesn't make them money, they want you to pay them to use THEIR drugs.
While I find that fundamentally repulsive, let me also say this: what do you think those critical of marijuana legalization think when they see a bunch of shaggy mouth-breathing college students yelling "legalize it, man!" You're not fucking helping you pieces of shit. Those responsible for changing the current laws see this behavior as a reason to keep the shit illegal in hopes that it will maybe deter this type of idiocy, and it's hard for me to blame them. This is really embarrassing, I've never seen anything defeat it's own purpose so well. I'm all for the protest and activism that can change these laws, but for God's sake conduct yourself in a responsible and intelligent manner if you want anyone to take you seriously.
It irritates the piss out of me when the amount of weed you inhale becomes a point of pride. So you smoke x amount of dope y times a day and get "so high"? Who fucking cares? News flash morons, anyone can inhale smoke, it's not a skill you loathsome fucking twats. Claiming how often you get high every day does not impress me, dealing does not impress me, grow ops do not impress me, YOU DO NOT FUCKING IMPRESS ME! Stop trying to be a badass by doing something that is already so tired out and mundane. You're smoking a plant, big fucking deal. You want to be truly awesome? Do something creative and unheard of, like, I don't know, punch a dragon to death. Do that and you'll get my fucking attention.
While we're on the subject of chemical dependency, I will say this: while I have no inherent problems with pot itself, I have a major problem with people who are addicted to the least addictive drug in the fucking world. If you're even going to talk to me about addiction you'd fuckin' better be shooting heroin into your fucking tear ducts or smoking meth. If not, shut your god damn mouths and give me a fucking break you useless douchebags.
I love marijuana, but the underlying selfishness and weakness that comes with a large portion of those who smoke pot is intolerable. All this tells me is that you have no real skills to offer the world and need to escape the harsh reality of existence so often it proves that you are a fucking pussy. You are not hardcore for being a perma-fried asshole, the real badasses are those who take all the shit the world has to throw at them without chemical dependence as a crutch. Go out and make something of yourself you weak son of a bitch.
I don't give a shit if I'm harshing your mellow, I still hope your children get molested.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
The UN Self Interest Council
Dear faithful readers, I'd apologize for the lack of posting as of recent, but it’s not part of my cold and decisive nature to apologize for anything. Now let’s get straight to business.
Get rid of fucking full veto power to permanent members of the UN Security Council. For arguments sake I will elaborate on that statement, but it'll be brief because frankly, I type a lot. For those of you unfamiliar with how the Security Council works here's a quick overview of how shit goes down...
The UNSC is responsible for quelling international squabbling and keeping general order throughout the world. There are five permanent members; France, UK, United States, Russia and China. Ten other members are elected on a 2 year cycle, 5 are replaced per year. A single permanent member can veto an entire motion while it takes 9 pro-votes for action to be taken on a matter.
Now this is fantastic, if you are thinking ahead then you can smell the conflict of interest that could potentially happen if one of these permanent members decided it was in their best interest to not act on a given motion. These criticisms can be noted in how NO action was taken in Rwanda in 1994 even though there was substantial evidence of the atrocity occurring. Yet in 1991 when incredibly resource rich Kuwait gets harassed and invaded by Iraq the council could not act fast enough to send a coalition force to thwart the invasion.
Now me discuss why the conflict in the Darfur region of Sudan (Yes it's in Sudan, because I doubt many of you actually knew that) can never be resolved so long as the veto power of the Permanent 5 (hereafter referred to at the P5) continues to hold the rest of the world hostage.
China has invested lots of money in Sudan, particularly in their oil reserves which although negligible in comparison with most oil producers, is still enough to raise interest in shitty Sudan. Sudanese government exterminates people in the Darfur region using weapons sold to them by... CHINA! China then uses that relationship to further investment, because China is the man on the inside at the UN. If anybody wants to take action in Sudan then the Chinese just say "How about no, since we gots lots of renminbi invested there, maybe you should just fuck off or I’ll go veto on your ass."
Another problem is the UNSC holds much similarity to beatnik parents. They tell you to do something, but if you don't obey then there are no consequences. The council can say "Stop" and the offender can reply with a wholehearted "FUCK YOU!" and the council will just reply to that with "Stop... please."
End point, conflict of interest is alive and well at the UN headquarters and nobody seems to give a fuck. The P5 needs to be dissolved (preferably in acid) or at least take away their excessive veto powers or things will further degrade into a steaming pile of bureaucrats shit with a UN flag planted on top. No system is perfect, but sitting idly around won’t fucking change things. Protesting anything related to Darfur/Sudan is futile because as long as China is waving veto power around then there is little to no legal action that can be taken by any nation that wishes to assist in the manner.
Fuck the UNSC.
Get rid of fucking full veto power to permanent members of the UN Security Council. For arguments sake I will elaborate on that statement, but it'll be brief because frankly, I type a lot. For those of you unfamiliar with how the Security Council works here's a quick overview of how shit goes down...
The UNSC is responsible for quelling international squabbling and keeping general order throughout the world. There are five permanent members; France, UK, United States, Russia and China. Ten other members are elected on a 2 year cycle, 5 are replaced per year. A single permanent member can veto an entire motion while it takes 9 pro-votes for action to be taken on a matter.
Now this is fantastic, if you are thinking ahead then you can smell the conflict of interest that could potentially happen if one of these permanent members decided it was in their best interest to not act on a given motion. These criticisms can be noted in how NO action was taken in Rwanda in 1994 even though there was substantial evidence of the atrocity occurring. Yet in 1991 when incredibly resource rich Kuwait gets harassed and invaded by Iraq the council could not act fast enough to send a coalition force to thwart the invasion.
Now me discuss why the conflict in the Darfur region of Sudan (Yes it's in Sudan, because I doubt many of you actually knew that) can never be resolved so long as the veto power of the Permanent 5 (hereafter referred to at the P5) continues to hold the rest of the world hostage.
China has invested lots of money in Sudan, particularly in their oil reserves which although negligible in comparison with most oil producers, is still enough to raise interest in shitty Sudan. Sudanese government exterminates people in the Darfur region using weapons sold to them by... CHINA! China then uses that relationship to further investment, because China is the man on the inside at the UN. If anybody wants to take action in Sudan then the Chinese just say "How about no, since we gots lots of renminbi invested there, maybe you should just fuck off or I’ll go veto on your ass."
Another problem is the UNSC holds much similarity to beatnik parents. They tell you to do something, but if you don't obey then there are no consequences. The council can say "Stop" and the offender can reply with a wholehearted "FUCK YOU!" and the council will just reply to that with "Stop... please."
End point, conflict of interest is alive and well at the UN headquarters and nobody seems to give a fuck. The P5 needs to be dissolved (preferably in acid) or at least take away their excessive veto powers or things will further degrade into a steaming pile of bureaucrats shit with a UN flag planted on top. No system is perfect, but sitting idly around won’t fucking change things. Protesting anything related to Darfur/Sudan is futile because as long as China is waving veto power around then there is little to no legal action that can be taken by any nation that wishes to assist in the manner.
Fuck the UNSC.
Monday, April 21, 2008
The Taxation of Beer in Ontario
Being a 19 year old non straight edge male I have a certain degree of knowledge in the damage that a “good weekend” can have on a bank account. And quite frankly I’m pissed at how the Ontario government’s monopoly (hereafter referred to as the LCBO) on the price of alcohol has the potential to bankrupt poor college students.
For those of you who have a terribly short attention span, I took the time to create a “tl;dr” for you assholes to get the gist of what I’m saying without investing precious time to read the rest of what I have to say.
For the rest of you who did not stop reading:
Holy fucking shit a solid drinker invests a lot of money into the chilled alcoholic industry every year. The following is an examination of the crap that the average Ontario drinker has to put up with just to enjoy some suds. I’m sure the following statements will do nothing but fuel more alcoholic rage, but it must be known.
Beer in Ontario is taxed at one of the highest rates in the world. When you shell out say $40 for a 24 or 28 of beer almost $20 of that is tax! Guess what else it taxed in that category? Cigarettes, gas, and air conditioners. For those who enjoy driving to the bar while enjoying a cigarette and A/C are being taxed to such an extreme its no wonder that those taxes have been coined as “Sin Taxes”.
Further breakdown of the shit that Ontario drinkers have to deal with;
- $5.62 per case in provincial commodity taxes.
- $2.29 per case in federal excise tax.
- 7% GST on the federal excise tax.
- 12% provincial sales tax -- 50% higher than the 8% PST charged on other goods.
- Plus, a provincial volume tax, environment tax and a gallonage tax.
Ri-fucking-diculous.
It’s evident that if you want to be a hardcore alcoholic you probably have to be making six figures a year just to enjoy the natural goodness of ethanol. So next time you sit down and enjoy your piss poor buck-a-beer just remember half of that dollar is tax. You are drinking a $0.50 bottle of beer. And yes, it does taste like urine.
Even the breweries have offered some incite. "With seven separate federal and provincial taxes levied on beer, with a provincial sales tax of 12% -- the highest in North America -- with a provincial tax rate that is 70% higher than in Quebec, and with a provincial rate that is 700% higher than in New York and Michigan, one begins to understand why nearly half of the beer-drinking dollar is tax” - Jeff Newton, president and CEO of Brewers of Canada.
Buying from the Beer Store is supposed to be the cheaper way of obtaining the famed hops/barley concoction. There is no way around the inevitability that you will get taxed to fucking hell. If it weren’t for long weekends there would be no hope for drinkers to hammer down.
Bars are no better. Everyone who has been to a bar and doesn’t have nice tits knows that buying drinks is an expensive prospect. Because those aforementioned taxes are applied to alcohol that the bars buy, then the bar also has to pay x amount of taxation just for being LLBO approved, plus other various taxes, plus operating costs and wages.
What has Ontario done wrong to deserve this? A breakdown of those infamous “Sin taxes”from a 2000 study claims that we pay “$470 million in tobacco taxes, contribute to the LLBO and LCBO’s revenues of $1.345 billion and our gambling foibles account for $1.93 billion in revenues.” That’s almost $4,000,000,000 dollars that Ontario profits off of people just having a good time. The government has done a nice job at turning a profit from fun.
Bottom line: praise the long weekend sales, embrace the new found 18 pack which is better cost per bottle then the average on-sale 28. But overall, fuck the government for taking advantage of Ontarians who just want to enjoy a beer. As if taxation wasn’t high enough you greedy bastards.
For those of you who have a terribly short attention span, I took the time to create a “tl;dr” for you assholes to get the gist of what I’m saying without investing precious time to read the rest of what I have to say.
For the rest of you who did not stop reading:
Holy fucking shit a solid drinker invests a lot of money into the chilled alcoholic industry every year. The following is an examination of the crap that the average Ontario drinker has to put up with just to enjoy some suds. I’m sure the following statements will do nothing but fuel more alcoholic rage, but it must be known.
Beer in Ontario is taxed at one of the highest rates in the world. When you shell out say $40 for a 24 or 28 of beer almost $20 of that is tax! Guess what else it taxed in that category? Cigarettes, gas, and air conditioners. For those who enjoy driving to the bar while enjoying a cigarette and A/C are being taxed to such an extreme its no wonder that those taxes have been coined as “Sin Taxes”.
Further breakdown of the shit that Ontario drinkers have to deal with;
- $5.62 per case in provincial commodity taxes.
- $2.29 per case in federal excise tax.
- 7% GST on the federal excise tax.
- 12% provincial sales tax -- 50% higher than the 8% PST charged on other goods.
- Plus, a provincial volume tax, environment tax and a gallonage tax.
Ri-fucking-diculous.
It’s evident that if you want to be a hardcore alcoholic you probably have to be making six figures a year just to enjoy the natural goodness of ethanol. So next time you sit down and enjoy your piss poor buck-a-beer just remember half of that dollar is tax. You are drinking a $0.50 bottle of beer. And yes, it does taste like urine.
Even the breweries have offered some incite. "With seven separate federal and provincial taxes levied on beer, with a provincial sales tax of 12% -- the highest in North America -- with a provincial tax rate that is 70% higher than in Quebec, and with a provincial rate that is 700% higher than in New York and Michigan, one begins to understand why nearly half of the beer-drinking dollar is tax” - Jeff Newton, president and CEO of Brewers of Canada.
Buying from the Beer Store is supposed to be the cheaper way of obtaining the famed hops/barley concoction. There is no way around the inevitability that you will get taxed to fucking hell. If it weren’t for long weekends there would be no hope for drinkers to hammer down.
Bars are no better. Everyone who has been to a bar and doesn’t have nice tits knows that buying drinks is an expensive prospect. Because those aforementioned taxes are applied to alcohol that the bars buy, then the bar also has to pay x amount of taxation just for being LLBO approved, plus other various taxes, plus operating costs and wages.
What has Ontario done wrong to deserve this? A breakdown of those infamous “Sin taxes”from a 2000 study claims that we pay “$470 million in tobacco taxes, contribute to the LLBO and LCBO’s revenues of $1.345 billion and our gambling foibles account for $1.93 billion in revenues.” That’s almost $4,000,000,000 dollars that Ontario profits off of people just having a good time. The government has done a nice job at turning a profit from fun.
Bottom line: praise the long weekend sales, embrace the new found 18 pack which is better cost per bottle then the average on-sale 28. But overall, fuck the government for taking advantage of Ontarians who just want to enjoy a beer. As if taxation wasn’t high enough you greedy bastards.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Requiem for Jason Lee
Jason Lee. Good God, what happened to Jason Lee? There was a time in my life when just uttering the name "Jason Lee" damn near gave me tingles up my spine. I mean, was there anyone out there cooler than that motherfucker? No, there was not.
But not all stories have happy endings. Somewhere along the line - for whatever reason - he became a member of the Church of Scientology (I use the term "Church" loosely) and began starring in fuck shit ass movies like Underdog and Alvin and the Chipmunks. Up until this point I never knew why people went on killing sprees. Well you know what? Now I fucking get it.
This man absolutely rocked the shit in movies like Mallrats and Almost Famous and so many more, making me laugh time and again with his priceless sardonic wit. Seriously, you could tell me that my mother was killed in a grisly car accident, and then right after that show me the part from Mallrats where he's screaming at the kid on the escalator, and I would still laugh my fucking balls off.
To be honest with you, I am almost at a loss for words. The thought of his fall from grace has left me feeling dirty and used, and I've tried to scrub away this feeling, but they just don't make water hot enough. This man is hilarious, and you'd be hard pressed to find anyone in the entire world who could deliver a one-liner better than Jason Lee can. Not only that, but he seems like a genuinely intelligent person. That's why I can't wrap my mind around the fact that he became a Scientologist. It's obviously done wonders for him financially, but at the cost of his very soul. A high price if you ask me.
Let's face it, there is a plethora of obviously unstable, closeted, or just plain untalented actors and actresses who blather on about Xenu and cleansing their Engrams. Take Jenna Elfman for example, did you know that she's a Scientologist? I did, but I don't care because she's a talentless waste of life, and she was dead to me long before I even acknowledged that she was alive. But knowing that someone as inherently cool as Jason Lee thinks that alien ghosts infected the planet with negative energy just makes me sick to my stomach.
Oh, just throwing this out there, he named his kid Pilot Inspektor Riesgraf Lee. I don't know if he was high or just lazy when he named that kid, but he deserves to be punched in the fucking sternum.
I could almost put up with this shit if he still took on good roles as an actor, but that's not the case. Jason, what the fuck have you done? I want to believe there is still good in you, but I fear you are more machine now than man; twisted and evil. I expected better from you. What a fool I was...
I don't care how much you love My Name Is Earl, Jason Lee is fucking dead to me.
But not all stories have happy endings. Somewhere along the line - for whatever reason - he became a member of the Church of Scientology (I use the term "Church" loosely) and began starring in fuck shit ass movies like Underdog and Alvin and the Chipmunks. Up until this point I never knew why people went on killing sprees. Well you know what? Now I fucking get it.
This man absolutely rocked the shit in movies like Mallrats and Almost Famous and so many more, making me laugh time and again with his priceless sardonic wit. Seriously, you could tell me that my mother was killed in a grisly car accident, and then right after that show me the part from Mallrats where he's screaming at the kid on the escalator, and I would still laugh my fucking balls off.
To be honest with you, I am almost at a loss for words. The thought of his fall from grace has left me feeling dirty and used, and I've tried to scrub away this feeling, but they just don't make water hot enough. This man is hilarious, and you'd be hard pressed to find anyone in the entire world who could deliver a one-liner better than Jason Lee can. Not only that, but he seems like a genuinely intelligent person. That's why I can't wrap my mind around the fact that he became a Scientologist. It's obviously done wonders for him financially, but at the cost of his very soul. A high price if you ask me.
Let's face it, there is a plethora of obviously unstable, closeted, or just plain untalented actors and actresses who blather on about Xenu and cleansing their Engrams. Take Jenna Elfman for example, did you know that she's a Scientologist? I did, but I don't care because she's a talentless waste of life, and she was dead to me long before I even acknowledged that she was alive. But knowing that someone as inherently cool as Jason Lee thinks that alien ghosts infected the planet with negative energy just makes me sick to my stomach.
Oh, just throwing this out there, he named his kid Pilot Inspektor Riesgraf Lee. I don't know if he was high or just lazy when he named that kid, but he deserves to be punched in the fucking sternum.
I could almost put up with this shit if he still took on good roles as an actor, but that's not the case. Jason, what the fuck have you done? I want to believe there is still good in you, but I fear you are more machine now than man; twisted and evil. I expected better from you. What a fool I was...
I don't care how much you love My Name Is Earl, Jason Lee is fucking dead to me.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Water
Water. Motherfucking water. You should think that there is no real reason to be so goddamn pissed about something so simple and pure and beautiful as water. After all, it's the essence of life, but somehow in the past few years or so we have managed to fuck it up in so many fucking ways.
What pisses me off so much about water? Well I'll fucking tell you what pisses me off. First, so-called "flavoured water". The idea is this; water, nature's original refreshment, accented with a hint of flavour. Well newsflash you cocksucker: there's no such thing as flavoured water! Any change in flavour and it becomes fucking juice. Now it's a soft drink, I hope you enjoy it you fucking twats.
Let me make this perfectly clear, if you alter the state of water in ANY way, it ceases to become water. It becomes ice, water vapour, or FUCKING JUICE! The very idea of this shit is so painful to my intelligence that I'm considering shoving my cock in the microwave just to take my mind off of it. I'm almost certain it would hurt less than this unrelenting stupidity.
It's not that I inherently hate the drink itself. You want to drink weak juice with some vitamins in it? Fine, I don't give a shit. Really, I don't. Just for the love of Christ do NOT have the audacity to call it water, it's shitty juice and you fucking know it you son of a bitch.
What else is causing my rage aneurysm you ask? If you guessed baseball cards you're close, but it's bottled water. This bullshit is the stupidest thing of all time and I include nazism in that. Everyone pays taxes to have clean, pure water flowing directly into our homes, and all we need to do to get it is turn on the tap. Awesome.
But what do we get? People leaving the safety of their homes to search for water, like our fucking ancestors did. Are you kidding me?! Why are people stupid enough to do something so, well, stupid? The main reason can be blamed on the fact that people are told to believe that bottled water is cleaner and safer than tap water. Fuck off. I'm going to make this perfectly clear. Bottled water is a business, and they have turned one of our few universal human rights into a product, end of story. The purpose of any business is to make money, and that's just what they are doing. It's genius really, what other product can you take out of the ground for nothing, put in a bottle, and sell back to people for more than the price of gasoline?
Now there are situations where bottled water is acceptable, like if your town's supply has been contaminated or is unsafe to drink, but we already have clean pure water flowing into our home, in fact here in Canada we have some of the purest cleanest tap water in the entire world. We're guzzling down this shit and filling landfills up to the tits with billions of plastic bottles. Not to mention the packaging of the water itself is ridiculously irresponsible, being over one hundred times more energy intensive than the already very efficient way water is distributed to cities. While this is happening, people in many other parts of the world don't even have the commodity of clean water. It's almost sickening to even think of.
Coke and Pepsi know what the fuck is up. They saw this shit and decided to bottle their own water. Coke came up with Dasani, and Pepsi has Aquafina. Yeah, who knows cleanliness and purity better than Coke and Pepsi? They're using their financial resources, marketing and transportation to make money hand over fist selling Coke and Pepsi without syrup for as much as Coke and Pepsi. It's things like this that make me die a little bit on the inside, I hope you're fucking happy.
Furthermore, just because you're in the store spending two dollars on a bottle of water doesnt mean its better than what you get out of the tap. Of all the bottled water companies examined in North America, 33% violated their own industry standards of safety. How does this happen? Because there is a discrepancy between the regulation of tap water and bottled water. The FDA is in charge of regulating bottled water rather than the EPA. The difference? The EPA has hundreds of people to ensure the safety and purity of tap water, where the FDA has only one person to regulate the purity of bottled water. Still think bottled water is better than tap? If not, then maybe you should check at the bottom of the nutritional facts (I'm not even touching that one, if I do I will most certainly lose my fucking mind) and notice that many bottled water companies say that the water is from "a municipal source". Do you know what that means? IT'S FUCKING TAP WATER! These fuckers are literally taking the water you already paid for and selling it back to you for absolutely biblical amounts of money, and you're just drinking it right up.
You may say that there are bigger problems out there, and I would agree whole-heartedly. There are bigger problems out there, so why get so pissed about water? I'll tell you why. Bottled water is not important in the grand scheme of things, but it is a symptom of much larger problems and easily avoidable ones at that. Those problems are rampant consumerism and an environmental disconnect. Think about what's going on, it's time to gain some perspective.
I am personally going to stick my dick in every bottle of water that is manufactured from now on.
What pisses me off so much about water? Well I'll fucking tell you what pisses me off. First, so-called "flavoured water". The idea is this; water, nature's original refreshment, accented with a hint of flavour. Well newsflash you cocksucker: there's no such thing as flavoured water! Any change in flavour and it becomes fucking juice. Now it's a soft drink, I hope you enjoy it you fucking twats.
Let me make this perfectly clear, if you alter the state of water in ANY way, it ceases to become water. It becomes ice, water vapour, or FUCKING JUICE! The very idea of this shit is so painful to my intelligence that I'm considering shoving my cock in the microwave just to take my mind off of it. I'm almost certain it would hurt less than this unrelenting stupidity.
It's not that I inherently hate the drink itself. You want to drink weak juice with some vitamins in it? Fine, I don't give a shit. Really, I don't. Just for the love of Christ do NOT have the audacity to call it water, it's shitty juice and you fucking know it you son of a bitch.
What else is causing my rage aneurysm you ask? If you guessed baseball cards you're close, but it's bottled water. This bullshit is the stupidest thing of all time and I include nazism in that. Everyone pays taxes to have clean, pure water flowing directly into our homes, and all we need to do to get it is turn on the tap. Awesome.
But what do we get? People leaving the safety of their homes to search for water, like our fucking ancestors did. Are you kidding me?! Why are people stupid enough to do something so, well, stupid? The main reason can be blamed on the fact that people are told to believe that bottled water is cleaner and safer than tap water. Fuck off. I'm going to make this perfectly clear. Bottled water is a business, and they have turned one of our few universal human rights into a product, end of story. The purpose of any business is to make money, and that's just what they are doing. It's genius really, what other product can you take out of the ground for nothing, put in a bottle, and sell back to people for more than the price of gasoline?
Now there are situations where bottled water is acceptable, like if your town's supply has been contaminated or is unsafe to drink, but we already have clean pure water flowing into our home, in fact here in Canada we have some of the purest cleanest tap water in the entire world. We're guzzling down this shit and filling landfills up to the tits with billions of plastic bottles. Not to mention the packaging of the water itself is ridiculously irresponsible, being over one hundred times more energy intensive than the already very efficient way water is distributed to cities. While this is happening, people in many other parts of the world don't even have the commodity of clean water. It's almost sickening to even think of.
Coke and Pepsi know what the fuck is up. They saw this shit and decided to bottle their own water. Coke came up with Dasani, and Pepsi has Aquafina. Yeah, who knows cleanliness and purity better than Coke and Pepsi? They're using their financial resources, marketing and transportation to make money hand over fist selling Coke and Pepsi without syrup for as much as Coke and Pepsi. It's things like this that make me die a little bit on the inside, I hope you're fucking happy.
Furthermore, just because you're in the store spending two dollars on a bottle of water doesnt mean its better than what you get out of the tap. Of all the bottled water companies examined in North America, 33% violated their own industry standards of safety. How does this happen? Because there is a discrepancy between the regulation of tap water and bottled water. The FDA is in charge of regulating bottled water rather than the EPA. The difference? The EPA has hundreds of people to ensure the safety and purity of tap water, where the FDA has only one person to regulate the purity of bottled water. Still think bottled water is better than tap? If not, then maybe you should check at the bottom of the nutritional facts (I'm not even touching that one, if I do I will most certainly lose my fucking mind) and notice that many bottled water companies say that the water is from "a municipal source". Do you know what that means? IT'S FUCKING TAP WATER! These fuckers are literally taking the water you already paid for and selling it back to you for absolutely biblical amounts of money, and you're just drinking it right up.
You may say that there are bigger problems out there, and I would agree whole-heartedly. There are bigger problems out there, so why get so pissed about water? I'll tell you why. Bottled water is not important in the grand scheme of things, but it is a symptom of much larger problems and easily avoidable ones at that. Those problems are rampant consumerism and an environmental disconnect. Think about what's going on, it's time to gain some perspective.
I am personally going to stick my dick in every bottle of water that is manufactured from now on.
Friday, April 11, 2008
Olympic Protesting
Greetings petty mortals. I am using this spare moment between exams to post my grievances over the increasingly popular idea of boycotting the Beijing Olympic games. To begin with, this is directed at the knobs who think that protesting the Olympics is great and Tibet should be free and blah blah blah I feel good about myself now.
Tibet has been battling for its sovereignty for 57 fucking years and everyone chooses to care when its the "hip" thing to do. Jesus fuck, everyone and their mom cared about Burma (Myanmar) 6 months ago, Darfur before that, and so on, all the way back to when Bob Geldof told everyone about Ethiopia (to keep to moderately recent events). Oh yeah, what's the hipster thing I should say here? Wait, I remember, FREE Tibet! Not since the mid 90's when a slew of larger bands (Beastie Boys) played to raise awareness of the Tibet issue have I witnessed so much temporary sympathy or vomited so much.
Protesting a sporting event does not make a political point you fucking twats. The Olympics are intended to be a world wide track meet. That's it. The host country was selected some 6 or 7 years ago (while Tibet was still not free) and they are expected to provide adequate facilities for the ATHLETES to come and compete in.
Example time. Because I know you morons love examples.
This is so fucking stupid I'm almost at a loss for words. Almost. If you are going to protest ANYTHING you better understand the historical context of things otherwise you have just proven your ineptitude. People like this are the reason why I'm pro-choice.
*If you didn't laugh at that picture and you are a supporter of Olympic protesting then you are also fucking stupid.
Berlin Germany - 1936
Nobody, absolutely no one boycotted the 1936 Olympics in Nazi Germany. There was some resentment from the Jewish community but ultimately things went okay all things considered. Hell, even a bunch of black athletes won medals.
Melbourne Australia - 1956
Two issues forced a number of countries to boycott the Olympics for completely stupid reasons. The Netherlands, Spain, and Switzerland were pissed that the Hungarian Uprising was thwarted by the Soviet Union. Cambodia, Egypt, Iraq, and Lebanon, boycotted the games due to the Suez Canal Crisis. How dumb is that? Not sending athletes that have trained for a majority of their lives in order to compete and you refuse to send them because of some squabble you're having. Either that or because your bleeding heart guilts you into not supporting the games in AUSTRALIA, which had nothing to do with either of those two reasons for boycott.
Munich Germany - 1972
Better known by its official slogan "The Happy Games". I'm not going to discuss the Palestinian/Israeli issue that arose during the games, because it has nothing to do with boycotting and was an isolated incident. I mention this event only because nobody boycotted Germany even though, you know... World War II.
Montreal - 1976
Canada went proactive and told the then Republic of China (Taiwan) that they could not compete under that name because Canada only recognized the People's Republic of China. Taiwan refused to compromise and they didn't come. Big loss. As well, Congo led a boycott of 28 African nations because IOC refused to disallow the New Zealand Rugby team from competing.
Moscow - 1980
In the heart of the cold war it was to be expected a number of countries would not send athletes. Those countries include; Canada, USA, Norway, Germany (west), China, Japan, Argentina, Turkey and others. This was mainly over a USA led boycott because of the recent Soviet invasion of Afghanistan. Promoters tried to keep politics out of the games but politics fucked things up again.
Los Angeles - 1984
For boycotting the 1980 Olympics the Soviet Union and its affiliates boycotted the LA version four years later out of spite. Again, politics fucked things up for the athletes.
All these examples tell us something. We have gotten a whole lot more retarded since 1936 when everybody sucked it up and marched right into the heart of Nazi-land because they wanted to compete. They left politics at the fucking door.
Then we had a full 24 years of good times. Until now, when all you mindless idiots decided to do a good deed and protest human rights violations to a country that doesn’t give a shit what the world thinks.
Human rights are all well and good, but protesting a sporting event that is intended to bring countries together and win some medals just sounds fucking stupid. To me it says: "We don't know what the Olympics represent, but its an easy opportunity to say fuck you China."
Mindless protesting I don't mind so much (to an extent). In fact, it amuses me because of how passionate people get over issues most of them do not fully understand or appreciate on a global political level. What I do mind is how people are so willing to speak for their national athletes and ruin their chance to compete on a global level at something they have devoted their lives to. Through your protesting and petty politics you are taking away THE RIGHT of those HUMANS to compete in an event that was made for athletes.
Different protest, but this guy has the right idea.
Much like the Church and State, let’s keep sporting events and State affairs separate.
Tibet has been battling for its sovereignty for 57 fucking years and everyone chooses to care when its the "hip" thing to do. Jesus fuck, everyone and their mom cared about Burma (Myanmar) 6 months ago, Darfur before that, and so on, all the way back to when Bob Geldof told everyone about Ethiopia (to keep to moderately recent events). Oh yeah, what's the hipster thing I should say here? Wait, I remember, FREE Tibet! Not since the mid 90's when a slew of larger bands (Beastie Boys) played to raise awareness of the Tibet issue have I witnessed so much temporary sympathy or vomited so much.
Protesting a sporting event does not make a political point you fucking twats. The Olympics are intended to be a world wide track meet. That's it. The host country was selected some 6 or 7 years ago (while Tibet was still not free) and they are expected to provide adequate facilities for the ATHLETES to come and compete in.
Example time. Because I know you morons love examples.
This is so fucking stupid I'm almost at a loss for words. Almost. If you are going to protest ANYTHING you better understand the historical context of things otherwise you have just proven your ineptitude. People like this are the reason why I'm pro-choice.
*If you didn't laugh at that picture and you are a supporter of Olympic protesting then you are also fucking stupid.
Berlin Germany - 1936
Nobody, absolutely no one boycotted the 1936 Olympics in Nazi Germany. There was some resentment from the Jewish community but ultimately things went okay all things considered. Hell, even a bunch of black athletes won medals.
Melbourne Australia - 1956
Two issues forced a number of countries to boycott the Olympics for completely stupid reasons. The Netherlands, Spain, and Switzerland were pissed that the Hungarian Uprising was thwarted by the Soviet Union. Cambodia, Egypt, Iraq, and Lebanon, boycotted the games due to the Suez Canal Crisis. How dumb is that? Not sending athletes that have trained for a majority of their lives in order to compete and you refuse to send them because of some squabble you're having. Either that or because your bleeding heart guilts you into not supporting the games in AUSTRALIA, which had nothing to do with either of those two reasons for boycott.
Munich Germany - 1972
Better known by its official slogan "The Happy Games". I'm not going to discuss the Palestinian/Israeli issue that arose during the games, because it has nothing to do with boycotting and was an isolated incident. I mention this event only because nobody boycotted Germany even though, you know... World War II.
Montreal - 1976
Canada went proactive and told the then Republic of China (Taiwan) that they could not compete under that name because Canada only recognized the People's Republic of China. Taiwan refused to compromise and they didn't come. Big loss. As well, Congo led a boycott of 28 African nations because IOC refused to disallow the New Zealand Rugby team from competing.
Moscow - 1980
In the heart of the cold war it was to be expected a number of countries would not send athletes. Those countries include; Canada, USA, Norway, Germany (west), China, Japan, Argentina, Turkey and others. This was mainly over a USA led boycott because of the recent Soviet invasion of Afghanistan. Promoters tried to keep politics out of the games but politics fucked things up again.
Los Angeles - 1984
For boycotting the 1980 Olympics the Soviet Union and its affiliates boycotted the LA version four years later out of spite. Again, politics fucked things up for the athletes.
All these examples tell us something. We have gotten a whole lot more retarded since 1936 when everybody sucked it up and marched right into the heart of Nazi-land because they wanted to compete. They left politics at the fucking door.
Then we had a full 24 years of good times. Until now, when all you mindless idiots decided to do a good deed and protest human rights violations to a country that doesn’t give a shit what the world thinks.
Human rights are all well and good, but protesting a sporting event that is intended to bring countries together and win some medals just sounds fucking stupid. To me it says: "We don't know what the Olympics represent, but its an easy opportunity to say fuck you China."
Mindless protesting I don't mind so much (to an extent). In fact, it amuses me because of how passionate people get over issues most of them do not fully understand or appreciate on a global political level. What I do mind is how people are so willing to speak for their national athletes and ruin their chance to compete on a global level at something they have devoted their lives to. Through your protesting and petty politics you are taking away THE RIGHT of those HUMANS to compete in an event that was made for athletes.
Different protest, but this guy has the right idea.
Much like the Church and State, let’s keep sporting events and State affairs separate.
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